They’re Machines!

My chickens have been laying machines lately. We’ve given away 3 dozen eggs and still have 2 dozen in the fridge. We have 9 total hens and 7 of them are laying so we’re getting 6-7 eggs. A. Day. Seriously.

Mmmmmm Michael C. Hall is one hot piece of man. Seriously, he’s gorgeous. If a serial killer was going to hack me up into pieces, I would happily let him do it. Totally random.

My uterus is also behaving a little better than it has been in recent days. My junk has been staying happily in place as it should be which makes me really very very happy. As of now, next appointment is on the 13th which is in 9 days. A week from Tuesday. Sadly, I doubt we’ll get an ultrasound, however the appointment after that? 4 weeks later? Yeah that one. I’ll be 19 weeks and it will be time for the oh so wonderful fetal assessment. Ya know, the one where the check to make sure all is going as planned and that everything is growing and happy and healthy, including the happy bits that will tell me if I get to buy more sweet little boy stuff and break out all the tubs of Gregory’s old baby things or if I need to suck it up and learn to be girly so I can teach a sweet little girl to be girly.

Either way, I’ll be happy that God has blessed us with another wonderful little person to raise into a fantastic human being just like my sweet Gregory is becoming.

Happy sighs at the wonderful, polite person Gregory is. Such a silly silly boy with great manners. I love him!

Its all short tonite, but I’m off to watch Dexter and Homeland with my love since my boy is already snoozin it up like a champ.

Happy Sunday!

I’m in love with the boy.

My husband. He’s hardly a boy. I so do love him dearly, though.

Let my first say that I am perfectly fine. Perfectly healthy and fine. My doctor is riding the gravy train with me as a patient. True story. Mostly.

I’ve been having a few issues with my stupid uterus. I say stupid uterus because, well, it doesn’t want to act right. I’ve had this weird feeling in my junk off and on for the last week or so. Its like my junk wants to be friends with my pants instead of staying in there aggravating my bladder making me have to run to the bathroom every 48.327 seconds. Its enough to scare the shit outta a girl and make you start doing those giney squeezes all the pregnancy websites rave so much about and poll the audience and ask no less than 8 lovely ladies who are either pregnant or recently pregnant with second childrens about the condition and position of their uterei. Is that even a word? I don’t know, but I’m using it and I’m not even going to google it or run spell check because I’m a rebel.

To make a long story short, I’m still a rockstar pregnant lady, but if I do too much, all my muscles get tired and my uterus starts to sink down into my pelvic cavity and pushes down on my bladder and I need to sit down more often. Simple as that.

So with that said, my sweet husband is freaked the hell out that I’m going to over do it and that just can’t happen. I love that man. He yelled at me so many times Monday nite and made me sit my tail down and watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse with Gregory and he cleaned the whole kitchen. I mean washed the dishes, scrubbed the glass top stove, swept and mopped the floor…the whole stinkin 9 yards. It was unbelievable. He even refilled my water bottle while I was in the bathroom.

Last nite, he changed out the laundry for me that I snuck into the washer while he was gone on a call.

Today, he did the same thing twice. And gave Gregory a bath.

He’s really taking this whole sit your butt down thing seriously. It makes me all happy that he cares and is genuinely worried about me and the baby. And to remind everyone, and you too, mama because I know you’re reading this, I am fine. Baby is perfect and healthy and has a heart rate of 160. And I didn’t say anything about it before we went to the doctor Tuesday or even on Tuesday because I didn’t want to cause unnecessary worry because I am a rockstar and we’re all doing great. I just need to be reminded to sit down every now and then.

Also, I got 5 eggs from my chickens this morning. That means I have more than 3 dozen eggs in my fridge.

Eggs, anyone?

Happy Wednesday!

I Lost My Mind. But Christina Did Too.

I went Black Friday shopping. Crazy, right? Normally I do all my Christmas shopping online and let the UPS and FedEx guys bring it to me because I’m lazy and really don’t like hunting up a dang parking spot and then drag my tail though the store and fight with all these crazy germ-ridden people for the same things I want to get. Anyway.

I decided to go Black Friday shopping when I saw a memory foam for my king size bed for $30. Thirty freaking dollars! Hello, $90 savings! I saw it, I needed it, I decided I was going to fight crazy people for it. And when I told Christina, she was all, “Hell yeah, dude, I’m in! I got your back!”

She’s a great friend.

So we went to Walmart at 8. 2 hours before the sale started. What was I thinking?! We start circling the store, eyeing all the shiny new and reasonably priced things we need. $30 memory foam. $5 hot wheels packs. Playdough. Jewelry for the girl. $3 waffle iron. (I know, right!) The list goes on.

10pm and the game is on. People start screaming and tearing into the packaging that contains all the glorious sale items. Holy. Shit. Christina jumps into a clump of people tearing into the giant pile of memory foams and grabs the two we need.

We make our way down the aisle picking up the random things we can’t live without. And then we see a huge fight. A fight over the $3 waffle irons. Damn we wanted those too! So there were cops there too that had to step in to break up fights. It was that hardcore. Jerks were walking away from the pallet with arms full of waffle irons. Seriously, as if one person needs 8 waffle irons. Ass holes.

There may be a little bad blood there. Oh well.

After about an hour of circling the store and piling out buggies high with boxes and cool stuff to wrap up for our kiddies, getting separated twice, finding the cool sample lady handing out packets of Emergen-C and 5 Hour Energy, we were ready to head to the checkout before the wave of electronics went on sale and the store got even more mad.

Surprisingly, they had every single register open. Unheard of! I was thankful for that because this pregnant lady was one tired mama and I was hungry and wanted sleep. Check out took all of like 5 minutes but sadly not a single place was open for food. What in the world are they trying to do to me!

But my husband did get me a sweet new cookware set for Christmas. He doesn’t know it yet. I guess he will be as surprised as me! Thank you, babe!

Happy Sunday!

I Don’t Even Know Who I Am Anymore

It isn’t even 7:30 yet. Gregory has been asleep and in bed for the last hour and I am *dying* to go to bed! When is my energy going to come back?! I mean GEEEEEEEZ! To be honest, I don’t even feel like writing tonight but I feel like I should since I haven’t in a while and I’m still trying to be a good little blogger and write semi regularly. Whatever, man. So with that, I will give you a list.’

1.  My chickens laid 2 eggs this morning. We’re up to 3 hens for sure that are laying…that means that 6 still aren’t earning their keep. I like them though so I’ll let them hang around.

2.  I’ve been waiting around the house for the bug guy to come because we live in the middle of nowhere and have a huge field behind the house and I do not want to share my house with field mice at all and since its getting colder, I’m afraid mice will make their trek across the back yard and come into my house which will piss me off beyond belief and the door to get under the house where Ryan the Bug Guy puts rat poison to keep me from going bat shit crazy if I see mouse poop and go to the store to buy insane amounts of mouse traps is downstairs in the closet and he can’t come inside unless we’re at home. If you’re still with me after that huge runon sentence, I went to the bank and missed him by like 6 minutes. How bad does that suck. He did all his spraying and mess outside but nothing inside and nothing in the garage where all the spiders like to hang out.

3.  I didn’t take a breath during the entire run on thought that turned into the sentence above.

4.  Its 7:32 and I want to go to bed.

5.  I don’t want to think of anymore things to list as they will all be household chores that I still plan on neglecting as I am tired and going to pour my tail into bed and sleep until I absolutely have to get up. Or I have to pee. Whichever comes first.

Goodnite yall and happy Wednesday!

Pinterest Is My Crack

I am totally addicted. Its the most amazing thing ever for new ideas and inspiration from anything from food to crafts to home improvement to pets to anything at all. Its basically an online bulletin board to “pin” ideas and pictures. While I will say I have lots of boards that are food and drink centered, I have crafts and stuff for my kids.

Like this one for a sweet tree house from StudioBlog.

How cool is that?! No walls, just the floor the roof. Fairly easy and far cheaper than building all the walls and figuring out doors and windows and such. And we have this pretty sweet little spot where the previous owners of our new house started a tree house for their kids. Its already leveled and has the posts in the ground and the base started. All we would have to do is get the 4 corner “wall” posts up and a roof and floor. I know that sounds like a lot when that’s all we’re really going to put on there but still. Its already started so it should be easier to talk Ben into finishing it, right?

Maybe. We’ll see. That’s what he said so I reckon we’ll see.

And if you’re interested in a new addiction to Pinterest, let me know and I’ll send you an invite! I’m generous like that

Happy Saturday!

 

We’ve Got A Layer

My chicken house has been a very loud place recently. So loud that my hens woke me up yesterday morning. At 6:30. In the morning. Why would anybody even do that.

Anyway.

They have been filling the air with clucks and other loud sounds that warn me that I have been too much of a slacker when it comes to building nesting boxes for my girls. They are all getting ready to start laying eggs.

In fact, Meredith, one of my Easter Egger hens, has already laid two! Two tiny bluegreen eggs in all their perfection. To say I’m a proud mama hen would be an understatement.

The one on the left is her first and the slightly larger one on the right is the new one!

So today, Gregory and I are off to buy a couple nesting boxes to get the girls by until we can talk Daddy into cutting the materials for me to make my own and something to weather proof their barn stall so they stay warmer tonight when the temperature drops.

Happy Thursday!

Not to Toot My Own Horn..toot toot

Second post of the day. I’m on a roll I guess.

After all my whining earlier about having housework to do but being so tired blah blah blah, I put on my big girl pants and got to work.

Toys picked up. Living room vacuumed. Kitchen swept. Dishes washed. Counters cleaned. Carpet cleaned. Scrubbed the bath tub to a sparkly clean. Cleaned the bathroom and made it shine. Cleaned the toilet. Sorted laundry. Washed 3 loads of laundry. Have 2 loads waiting to be washed. Ate corn dogs with my boy. Watched Mickey Mouse Clubhouse with him too. And now…

…now I sit. I am tired. But my house is clean and smells good and the carpet is so super soft and fluffy after a good cleaning with the rug doctor and the bathroom is immaculate and my laundry room isn’t as scary and the kitchen is ready for dinner to be cooked….if I can drag my butt off the couch. But that is later so we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

And also, my sweet sweet husband who makes me crazy more often than not brought me a blueberry muffin. He remembered me saying I wanted some last night but we didn’t have any muffin mix to make them or any blueberries to make them from scratch. He makes me happy. When he’s not driving me straight to the nut house.

Happy still Monday and I hope your day has been super productive too. If not, just claim some of mine.

Big Birl Panties

Ya know those days you just want to crawl back in bed and stay there for a week? Yeah that. I really need to bitch and whine so I can get it out of my system.

This pregnancy is kicking my butt with the exhaustion. I remember being tired when I was pregnant with Gregory but I could nap whenever I wanted to so it wasn’t that bad. I could get all my house work done and go to work and take all the naps I wanted in between. I was tired but it was tolerable.

This pregnancy, I have a wild rambunctious 2 year old to chase, twice the laundry I had before, more messes, more responsibility, and a third of the energy. I have more dirty dishes, more bathrooms to clean, more things to do, and none of the will to get it all done in a timely manner.

This week due to my water heater being an unbelievable pain in my tail and leaking water all over my laundry room, twice, I have 4 loads of laundry waiting to be washed. And the load of towels it took to soak up all the water. All waiting. All calling my name and demanding me to get off the couch and be a productive housewife. I’ve done a dang good job ignoring it all for a week but the mountain has just gotten bigger and we’re out of clean socks.

The kitchen is in desperate need of a good sweep and mopping but that, too, is on my list of stuff I’m pretending I don’t do.

The living room needs to be vacuumed and the carpet cleaned and Elizabeth is waiting to use the carpet cleaner when I’m finished so I know I need to get it done. But I really want biscuits. And blueberry muffins. And a nap.

I should be planning and making a grocery list so I can work on dinners for the month so I have enough meat in the freezer to stay out of the grocery store but I really want Taco Bell. And a nap. And blueberry muffins.

I should be letting Gregory run like a crazy man outside to wear his tail out before the next cold snap keeps us in the house but I really want to sit on the stairs in the hallway and type. And blueberry muffins.

I really really should get to the post office and send off the 2 packages that have been waiting forever to be mailed but I really want to sit and watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse with my boy.

All of these things should already be done but none of them are. I feel like such a slacker and a whiney one at that. I feel better after whining and getting all this mess out of my system and seeing my massive to do list all written out. Its made it easier to come up with a plan of sorts to get it all done and tackled and then back to my lazy baby growing ways.

Time to put my big girl panties back on and suck it up. I’ve got stuff to do.

Happy Monday!

I Like Football, Just Not Enough.

Why is it that when a football game is on, my husband turns into the worst kind of ass and has to be a douchecanoe? I mean I know I talk a lot but seriously.

Football is bigger than religion in the South and anyone that knows anything about the South knows thats huge. You can’t go a mile without passing a church down here and I swear during football season, the beginning of every single sermon in every single church is always something along the lines of “Did you see that beautiful pass in the second quarter?” or “Wow did you see how hard that guy got hit? Goodness gracious, bless his heart.”. Football is bigger than religion. And the rilvary between Alabama and Auburn is deep. Like seriously deep. Auburn won the National Championship last year and a ridiculous Alabama fan went and poisoned the oak trees on Toomer’s Corner in Auburn. Why? Because he was a dick and football means that much to a bunch of rednecks.

Alabama is playing LSU tonight. I hate Alabama. Not just because I’m an Auburn fan or because most Alabama fans I know are some of the worst people or incredibly rude. I hate Alabama because, well, Coach Saban is an asshole who never smiles and they are all a bunch of cocky asses that worship a dead guy and listen to his drunken slurs before every single game. Now, I don’t have anything against Bear Bryant. I don’t know the guy and I’m sure he could have been really very nice but in general, Alabama fans are jerks and I can’t stand the team for that reason. But that’s just me.

Anyway, Alabama is playing LSU and of course, I’m pulling for LSU. Not that I’m paying much attention to the game. I mean, shoot, I’m sitting here writing a blog post because I’m irrationally pissed off at my husband. Real mature, I know. Don’t judge me.

I told Ben that one of the announcers sounds like a guy from Storage Wars. He so does! Ben calls me a dork and says they sound nothing alike and I, of course, argue because he does. He so freaking does. But then its over. And a few minutes later, I try to tell him something that is important and completely unrelated to football. By important I mean probably not important at all but I need to tell him before I forget because it was full or dumbassery on his dumb ass ex wife’s part.

Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Touchdown LSU! Damn they called him Out-Of-Bounds at like the 4 yard line. Damn.

Anyway I had something semi important to tell him and he yells at me. To which my irrational pregnant hormonal self over reacts and yells back and demands asks him why he has to be such a dick and he goes on to whine about how there are 4 minutes left in the game and its more important blah blah bl….wait. More important? MORE. IMPORTANT? More fucking important. You’ve got to be kidding me.

Normally, I would be able to come up with my own smartass remark and bust him right back in the balls but wtf! “More important” just took me by surprise and now I’m sitting here pissed off and angrily banging away on my keyboard. He knows I’m pissed. He freaking KNOWS. And he keeps looking over to see if the scowl has faded from my face. It has not, dear, it. has. not.

Happy Saturday.

Oh yeah, LSU just won in over time. Take that, Alabama fan husband. Take that. Geaux Tigers!

Just Keep Smiling

A few days ago someone on Facebook posted lyrics to a song. Normally I ignore random posts and just troll for the juicy stuff but these lyrics caught my attention. Something about the line “Stab you in the face” called to me and the fact that she said it was in a country song intrigued me even more.

Upon googling and youtubing said lyrics I discover its from a song called Bonafide by Miss Willie Brown. If you have never heard this song, you are missing out on the amazingness that is the line “Every single time I think of you it makes me wanna stab you in the face” so go here and watch their live performance. It will change your life.

And also you’ll stay outta jail when you smile.

In semi related news, I really need to remember to keep smiling. My 10 year old step daughter just got over her third case of walking pneumonia she brought home from her mother’s house which beyond pisses me off. I’m just saying for her to say she loves and cares about her so much, why can’t she keep her well? And why can’t she dress her in clothes that fit? She’s 10. There is no reason for a 10 year old to wear clothes 2 sizes too small or skinny jeans because its “stylish”. She’s freaking 10, not a whore. Why does this only seem to make sense to me and Ben? Really.

But that’s an entirely different story and a completely different soapbox to be saved for another time. And so is the lying thing. Which just made another appearance. Also pisses me off beyond belief.

And now I leave you to watch Grey’s Anatomy. Happy Thursday!